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Several years ago scientists proved that thoughts and ideas have material power, i.e. the more thoroughly you think, the greater is the material impact of your ideas on the actual life. There were several experiments that demonstrated the power of mental activity. As we know, dreams and prayers are also ideas, succession of thoughts. This means that the most cherished dreams and diligent prayers are bound to come true. At first I did not believe this, I thought it another one of those pseudoscientific hypothesis that we here everyday on the radio. But then I took a closer look at my own life and at everything that happened with me before, and… Well, maybe the scientists were right.
Once upon a time Deep within each heart, there
lies a special spark| Born in 1982 in Moscow Region (Soviet Union, now it is Russia), I was a regular child, no different from most other children. My dear parents really loved me, and I was a happy baby. J When I was about two and a half years old, there was an event that changed my life and made me different from many other children. Something happened in the day care (the details of the accident were never discovered), in result my optic nerve was severely damaged. Despite that, I was taken to all kinds of doctors, given all kinds of treatments and therapies, my eyesight was gradually decreasing. Unfortunately, the therapy gave only temporary improvement. By my twelfth birthday I was nearly blind. Moreover, when I was around ten, another check up showed that I had a brain tumor. The tumor gave me great headaches and made me continuously sick. My live was now under threat. However, hope was the last one to die. We did not give up. I have to admit that in my family I was never treated as a handicap or a disabled person. They made me mind my manners (they were always very strict about my behavior) and do my house chores (I even had to baby-sit my little brother). They made me study hard from the very early age, read to me a lot of books, took me to may places, and prepared me for school very well. But, as another proverb says “Small kids – small problems, but as the kids grow up, the problems grow too”. School was my first obstacle. At that time visually impaired children, as well as children with other disabilities, were not accepted in public schools. So, I had to go to special school for the blind, which means I had to go away from home and from my beloved parents. I missed them terribly. It was a real trial for all of us. The music school also did not accept me for the same reason. And as my eyesight decreased there were more and more difficulties and limitations like this that seemed impossible to overcome. And while life was inventing new more tricky obstacles on my path, my mind was creating some crazy and unrealistic ideas, fantasies that gradually formed into firm goals, long time ambitions and most unbelievable dreams. Thus, in the fifth grade, when I first started taking English at school as one of the mandatory subjects, I decided that I want to learn this language very well and then perhaps pick up some other one in order to become an interpreter. Normally at that age all children go crazy about some certain profession, but usually they change their mind nearly every day, whereas my choice was absolutely final and irrevocable. But most people tried to convince me that this job was not for me that I would not be able to learn the languages and would not even manage to enter the linguistic university. They said it was unreal for a blind person. But I continued to dream and to work my way though. I paid very close attention to the English lessons at school. But the school program was very limited and not enough to learn foreign language. So, I did this: I decided to learn five-ten new English words each day. My main source was the “Disney Dictionary”1. But because my eyesight was very poor and was becoming worse, I copied all these words little by little each day in brail2, so that I could read them over several times and memorize them. It was very difficult because the letters in the book were very small. Brailing was also very hard, because at that time I was using slate and stylus, and there were no brail typewriters available. Plus my parents were really concerned about my health and did not want me spend that much time with books. Nevertheless, despite that the self-tutoring continued. Also I was very kin in music. I never had any special talent, nor any natural gift, but I always wanted to play musical instruments and sing for my own pleasure. I was very active in the school choir and ensemble, plaid in the school theatre, and even attempted taking piano lessons. But my real dream was to learn how to play flute. I had no idea where to start from because there were no flute lessons in my school. So, meanwhile I was taking piano lessons, not very successful. And, there was another dream. I knew that my situation was hopeless. My health was getting worse and worse. Medicine was helpless. Also I knew that being so ill, I would never find place in the normal people’s world: never finish my education, never find job, never get married nor have children. I was aware that my days were limited. But I wanted to live! I had heard that in some foreign countries, e.g. Israel, Germany, Japan, USA, etc., such problems as mine were solved. So, I dreamed that one day I would somehow go to some other country and would be completely cured of my disease. Then in this foreign country I would go to school and learn English and then some other language. I even imagined how I would telephone my parents from this foreign country. And then, I dreamed, I would return to my country and would be rather successful. This was only a dream, a fantasy. I did not tell anyone about it because I was afraid to be discouraged and to loose my last hope. It was only mentioned in my prayers and always sparkled in my imagination. As I learned later, my parents also secretly cherished a similar dream. My imagination was heated up by the fact that one girl Nina from my school after graduation went to the United States to the Philadelphia School for the blind for one school year for some special rehabilitation program. I was 10 years old then and was in the 5th grade.
Unbelievable I believe there are angels among us One day, when I was 13 year old, in 7th grade, our teacher came to class and said that the following week our school would be visited by a group of American teaches and our parents were welcome to come meet the visitors and take part in the meeting. I conveyed this to my parents. Our school was all up side down these few days until the Americans came! We prepared different exhibitions, concerts, billboards, were instructed how to behave and so on. It was a lot of fun. For me it was just another school activity. I did not see any potential in this visit and did not associate any of my hopes with it. I expected it to be one of those formal school talks. I though that for my mother it was also nothing special. However, as she told me later, the night before the meeting she woke up and put into her purse my medical papers, the latest X-rays and MRIs. I find it very strange that she did it, as if there was some mysterious sign that told her do it. As I learned later, the visitors were teachers from West Virginia School for the Blind that came to our school under the aegis of the Russia West Virginia Foundation to share their experience. During the meeting mom found a moment to tell them about my problem and to share our family disaster. They took their time to listen and expressed their understanding. Moreover, they took my medical documents with them to show to some American specialist. The visitors left. Life in our school and in our family retuned into its normal pace, every day routine took its normal positions. No special hopes nor expectations. In about a week we were informed through the school principal that I was invited together with one of my parents to come to America for medical consultation and perhaps a surgery. We were shocked. My dreams began coming true. In fact, my whole family was very frightened. Firstly, because we did not know English. Even though I spent very much time studying, my level was very low and not enough to travel abroad, whereas mother did not know English at all. Secondly, because it was the year 1995, only couple years after the iron curtain was taken down, and we had never been abroad. Finally, the surgery was the most frightening thing. The very thought made us shiver. Many tried to talk us out of this, but my parents were never in doubt. We had to use this chance. Then there were about two weeks of very hectic preparations: we had to prepare all the documents (back then foreign passports and visas took much longer than now), to collect the money to pay our plain tickets, and so on. I am not sure why things had to be arranged in such hurry, but we managed, which is amazing. Very many people helped us in these preparations. Nothing would have been arranged without this help. It was decided that mom would go with me. It was extremely difficult to leave dad and my little six years old brother back home. Our family had never parted before.
So, finally, everything was ready and on we went... America received us the most heartily hospitality. The newly met people did their utmost to make us feel comfortable. We received so much love and care, so much kind attention that absolute strangers became our dear friends. Amazing, but the language barrier did not prevent the communication. Well, I am not going to describe any medical details and emotions connected with that. Believe me, it was a real trial for everyone. But, thanks to God and to numerous people that helped him, the two surgeries and the following treatment were successful and I was cured. My eyesight was not completely returned, but it improved immensely and stopped decreasing, and the permanent sickness also stopped. My life was no longer in danger. As mentioned above, from our first arrival and throughout our staying, all the people were extremely kind and hospitable. Mom and I stayed in West Virginia about four months and were hosted by very many different American families. I am sure that kindness, generosity and hospitality of these people was one of the keys to success of the whole project. They helped me get well and really supported my mom. Most of the time there was someone who knew Russian to help us. But still, I had to use my English quite a lot. It made me really nervous and frustrated, because I felt that I am funny. But mom made me speak all the time, she nearly forced me to. By the end of our visit my English improved immensely and when I returned to my school, the Standard English lessons were no use for me. So, I continued self-education using the old methods.
Dream must go on… At the end of the following school year I was invited back to West Virginia for another medical check up. This time I went there alone and had absolutely no fear. After the check up I was invited to stay at the West Virginia School for the Blind to go to the 9th grade. Did I hesitate? No, not a moment of hesitation. After all, according to my dream this was the expected continuation of the scenario. So it was rather predictable in my imagination. At first, school was very difficult. My English was too poor. From the very beginning my speaking algorithm was like this: if I did not know or did not remember some word or phrase, I used all the familiar words to give its definition, and then people would guess what exactly I was trying to say and would give me the right word, which I memorized once and forever. Thus, I constantly increased my active vocabulary and improved my pronunciation (a very useful method). However, while this method worked fine with the adults, the children could not take this without making fun of me. So, I had to be very careful about what I was saying, for I did not like to be laughed at! That was also a very good stimulus for me to learn. Different recreation activities at school, such as sports, music, various social clubs and projects, also had a great input in my progress. So, very soon I was more less accustomed to the new environment. School program of course was very different from that at my Russian school. Each subject was a real challenge. The only subject that seemed to be of no problem, were maths and physical education. Everything else, especially computers, science, history, English, gave very bad headache to me, as well as to my poor teachers. Well, have to admit that all my teachers were very patient with me, and gradually they all became my friends. Thank you, my dear teachers! The second year at the same school was much easier. I felt more sure of my self and took some new subjects, such as journalism and German. Learning German was even more than I could ever dream of! I was extremely happy, and so were my parents. I can resist saying couple words about the unforgettable school life on campus of the West Virginia School for the Blind. There were all sorts of activities to make our life bright and interesting: sports, band, chorus, social clubs, fantastic fund razing activities, fantastic space camp, and unforgettable field trips. We even were able to take classes not offered at our school, e.g. a school van took me every day to another school for my German classes. Well, the school life and all the activities deserve special attention and I would love to tell more about each of them, but this would turn my article into a novel. So all I would like to say now is: those two years at school were unforgettable. By, the way, at school I was taught to play flute! Of course, I am no great player, but it is still one of my favorite hobbies, which gives me sheer joy and conciliation. One of the families, where I stayed, even gave me a flute, which I am still using. As mentioned above, all the weekends and days off school I spent in different American families. Mainly they were all English speaking and very seldom were there Russian people. When these very rare chances to meet Russians and to speak my native tongue appeared, I was of course very happy, you cannot imagine how happy, but this was very rare. The American families were still extremely kind to me. They did everything to make me happy. In some families there were my peers, in some children of other ages, in some had no children at all, but not a single day was I bored or lonely there. They took me different places and showed me different things, comforted me when I was homesick. So, to put it short, they became my family for the times I stayed with them. I still keep in touch with most of them and I think I will be grateful to them for the rest of my life. However, you may have noticed that I am not mentioning any names here. Well, this is because the list of my angels would be too long and I am afraid to make my readers tired or bored, plus I would hate to miss anyone. So, I am sure that those about whom I am thinking now, will recognize their own names between the lines and will feel my love and gratitude. So, all in all I spent at West Virginia School two school years. Was I homesick? Of course I was! I was only 14 when I entered the first year and was only 16 when I finished the second year. Both years I returned home for my summer holidays. Unfortunately, after the second year (tenth grade) I was not able to return and finish my school because I did not get the visa. Of course, I was very much upset because I had not finished school, but I was not really fit for the 11th grade of the regular Russian school, plus it was a big question whether I would be accepted to any Russian school. And once again, my parents, like angels, were there to help me cope these new difficulties. They found a so-called “home schooling” program for me to finish the 11th grade. This program was designed for children with different health problems that prevent them from going to regular classes. So, during my last school year I took individual lessons within this program, and in addition to this I was able to attend regular classes. This gave me double time at school and helped adjust to the missed program. The main benefits of this last year as that I could polish my Russian. I still cherished the dream of becoming an interpreter, so my Russian also had to be very good. So, here I was focused on writing compositions in Russian and studying literature (I had to catch up all I missed). Here, once again, I was very lucky with the teachers. They were all very kind and understanding and really helped me. Busy with hard studying, I did not notice how the school year went by, and it was the time to think about the further educations. This was a real challenge, problem of the problems… Even though in 1999 the political and social situation in Russia was quite positive and rather stable, and the society became more less open to innovations, they still could not imagine a handicap person in a prestige university. But I still wanted to become an interpreter of English and German. Moreover, my parents convinced me that an interpreter is a very narrow specialization, and I should better get a more flexible profession, such as foreign law, foreign trade or perhaps even foreign relations. All universities that have such departments are considered a high rank. So, my mom, God blesses her, went to all kinds of universities: from pedagogical and linguistic to business and diplomatic schools. Everywhere we were denied because of the eyesight. They all insisted that I would not be able to study there and would never find job in such spheres. Finally, one of the universities allowed me to take their exams, just to try myself. But the dean really doubted that I would be able to withstand the very complicated program of the department of foreign relations. Well, the first examination was in English. But because the university people never had any experience of working with blind people, they did not enlarge my test papers and I had to take oral English exam instead of the regular test. Lucky me! To be honest, I had never studied English grammar in theory. Therefore, even though I spoke English fluently with almost clear American pronunciation, my spelling was horrible and I knew absolutely no grammar rules. I used the whole expressions and intuitive word combinations that I picked up in West Virginia, and it sounded as if my grammar was perfect. So, in oral discussion I made all the members of the committee believe that I knew English and was able to discuss just about any topic. They were shocked because they did not expect this. Ever since the dean was always on my side. All the other exams were passed easily, and I was accepted. I am not going to give you all the details of the wonderful university years. They were also filled with all kinds of tearful difficulties and great achievements. I only would like to highlight special role that my parents and brother plaid: all the books and materials were read to me out loud and were recorded on audio tapes, so that I could reread them any time. But for them, I would never finish the university. Nevertheless, in 2004 I got my “Red diploma” (honor roll – all As) and became a specialist in foreign relations in the Western Europe Region, majoring in international communications. By the way, for one of the summer internships I returned to West Virginia! The internship was organized through the student program Work and Travel. It is very popular all over the world, so you may have heard about it. And of course, my old friends helped me to find a good job and to arrange all the accommodations. This last visit to the United States was also a great experience: more language practice, wonderful business practice, living on my own, keeping my own books, meeting old friends and so on. It was a lot of fun, and this internship is still a very attractive point in my resume. Well, as I said, I graduated in 2004 and faced a new challenge of finding a job. It was once again a real problem to explain the potential employers that I am able to work. They treated me with prejudice and did not want to give me a chance. The job search continued for about two months, but to me and to my parents it seemed like ages. A real problem was that my parents and my brother were not able to guide me to all the numerous job interviews, because they also had their own jobs and school, etc. But at that time I was not able to use the very complicated and crowded Moscow subway, was not able to read any signs on the streets and it was very hard to find the unfamiliar addresses. So, I had to overcome this problem each time I was invited for another interview. Finally, I found a good job. And guess what was the main argument in my favor? The general director, who interviewed me, said to all those who were against that even if I appeared a bad specialist, my American pronunciation made it worth keeping me. This is how I got my chance. Here is again my American school! Then, once I got started, it was much easier. Gradually I realized that there are many other interesting things besides interpreting. So now I am a foreign trade manager in a Russian company. But when things are good and smooth, it does not mean that one has to stop moving. No. Only dreams and ambitious goals keep us alive. So now there is another spark flickering in my heart, but that is a secret!
Conclusion This unbelievable adventurous experience taught me this: J Life is good and always worth fighting for; J Miracles do happen, and most unreal dreams do come true. You just have to believe and to do your utmost for their realization. J You are never alone. There are angels among us. You never know when and where you meet them and what language they might speak. J You live as long as you dream. When one goal is ached, it immediately gives start to another one; as soon as one dream comes true, it inevitably gives birth to another one. So, after all, I think the scientists are right about power of a dream!
Notes: J Why I am telling you this. I do not want you to think that I am bragging. No way! I have given many interviews to numerous TV and newspaper reporters, so there is absolutely no need for public attention. I simply wanted to share my experience with those who may need some support at this moment. “Help your self and then help the others” – this is my motivation. J No names were mentioned. I said that I received help and support from unbelievable number of people. Some of them I even do not know, with most of them I still keep in touch. But none of them were named in this story. I did this on purpose. Firstly, the list would be so long that my reader would simply be bored and tired. Secondly, I am so extremely grateful to each and everyone, that this gratitude can never be expressed by words. Plus, I would hate to miss anyone! And finally, names are not so important for Angels, are they? J I know that the story may seem unbelievable: too many unexplainable coincidences and unexpected lucky outcomes. Some times I also think to my self that maybe it is just a very long daydream, imagination, illusion… But, believe it or not it is all true. From time to time life reminds me about it by giving me another portion of cold shower!
1 “Disney Dictionary” – this used to be a very popular book, where different topics that represent everyday activities of the Disney cartoon characters were given in key words and bright illustrations, translation and transcription. I suppose this book is no longer available, and unfortunately mine is lost too. 2 Brail is a special method of writing and reading
by fingers only, designed by Louie Brail especially for the blind people.
To write in brail one can use either a special typewriter, or slate and
stylus. Of course, now there are many other PC based devices. |
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